School pictures—nobody likes taking them, but everyone wants to look good in them. While really great photos are hardly noticed by anyone, a really unfortunate picture could lead to yearbook infamy.
Wouldn’t it be great if teachers could retouch and edit their yearbook pictures, just like you can with Instagram or SnapChat? Here are my totally imaginary (yet totally appropriate) filters that would be perfect for teachers on school picture day.
1. The Save-the-Day Filter
You sleep through your alarm, and rush out the door with breakfast and coffee in hand. Traffic is jammed all the way to school and a rude driver cuts you off as you slam on the brakes, sending coffee flying all over your nicely pressed shirt. No problem with the Café filter! It removes unsightly coffee stains with a quick swipe.
2. The “I’m Not Available Right Now” Filter
Maybe you caught the flu from one of your students. Perhaps you need a much-deserved mental health day. Or maybe you just don’t want to take a picture today. No worries! The “I’m Not Available Right Now,” filter lets you take a phone and then superimpose it on the pre-chosen school background. Problem solved!
3. The Pearly Whites Filter
You pick out the perfect outfit, look great, and strike the perfect pose. But as soon as you smile, there’s the dreaded piece of food between your teeth. Just use the Pearly Whites filter and your smile is cleaner than just after a trip to the dentist.
4. The “Make Me Look Older” (aka Elder) Filter
It happens to just about every first-year teacher: you look so young that you get mistaken for a student. For school picture day, wouldn’t it be great to use a filter that gave you an automatic stern look and maybe some horn-rimmed glasses? This filter will do just that and let everyone know who’s in charge.
5. The “I’m Not Quite Ready” Filter
Let’s face it, school photographers have a tough job. They’re snapping hundreds of pictures of rowdy students and harried teachers. They’re just trying to get everyone in and out as quickly as possible. As a consequence, they probably take more than a few pictures where a teacher might not be quite ready. No problem with this filter. It actually delays the taking of the picture for a full two seconds to make sure you’re in tip-top photo form!
6. The “I’m Not Tired” Filter
We all know that while rewarding, teaching is oftentimes tiresome. And who wants to look tired and worn out in their yearbook pictures? That isn’t a problem with the “I’m Not Tired” filter. No matter how late you worked grading those assignments, this filter makes you look your best.
7. The Onfleekia Filter
It’s hard to stay on top of the latest fashion trends when you spend all day monitoring student clothing and uniform violations. So, it’s no surprise that many teachers show up for their yearbook photos with outdated clothing and makeup choices. The “Onfleekia” filter can help! One tap, and presto! Your wardrobe is modern and awesome.
